The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a
series of jokes he'd heard recently. Everybody laughed loudly.
Everybody, that is, except Mike.

When he noticed that he was getting no reaction from Mike, the boss
said, "What's the matter, Mike? No sense of humor?"

"My sense of humor is fine," he said. "But I don't have to laugh. I'm
quitting tomorrow."

One day a man went to an auction to bid on a parrot. He kept getting
outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid
way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure
hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for
it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think
kept bidding against you?"

A man didn't like his wife's cat and decided to get rid of the animal
one day by driving it a few blocks from his home and leaving it at the
park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat further away. He put the
beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the
cat!

The man kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would
always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a long, long way out
of town, down a winding path of barely-used roads.

Hours later the man called home to his wife: "Honey, is the cat
there?"

"Yes," the wife answered, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man replied, "Put him on the phone, I'm lost and need
directions."